


Pretending

by whatteam_voltron



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-27 00:07:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13868889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatteam_voltron/pseuds/whatteam_voltron
Summary: “Well then go ahead and do that! Tell everyone about how you helped write emails pretending to be a kid who killed himself!”“I know we both wish I wasn’t pretending, Evan, but I’ve been trying to be less of an insufferable asshole lately. Apparently that isn't working because I'm such-”.....Where Jared says something he didn't want to reveal, and it just happens to be the one time Evan doesn't ignore him.





	Pretending

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place during the fight in Good For You (if you couldn't tell from the iconic line).
> 
> I posted this on Tumblr (whatteam-voltron) to not much response so it might suck, I don't know. Maybe people there just don't like my boy Jared.

“Well then go ahead and do that! Tell everyone about how you helped write emails pretending to be a kid who killed himself!”

Jared had never seen Evan so angry. He’d never seen him yell with such absolute hatred before. It made him take a step back.

He opened his mouth to respond, but his throat closed, nothing could come out. He closed his mouth, tried again, tried to force out any words so he wasn’t standing there waiting to burst into tears.

The words weren’t what he wanted to come out. And they were bitter and loud. “I know we both wish I wasn’t pretending, Evan, but I’ve been trying to be less of an insufferable asshole lately. Apparently that isn't working because I'm such-”

“Jared, stop!” And Jared stopped, because Evan’s yell wasn’t angry anymore. His face held something worse than hatred- pity.

Jared realized what he had said belatedly and he started shaking slightly, the tears he fought off coming now, silently pouring down his face.

Evan’s voice softened. “Jared, what- what do you mean by that?” He was cautious, as if approaching a wild animal, and he reached a hand out towards his friend.

Jared smacked the hand away and backed up. “Fuck you, Evan! Asshole!”

He ignored whatever Evan might have yelled after him as he ran away.

Texts came in. Hell, he got anxious Evan Hansen to make a phone call. He could still apologize, brush it off as melodrama or a joke.

But really, Evan knew it was the truth. And what right did he have to act concerned? Jared knew the other boy agreed.

His phone rang again. Better to pick it up now. The longer he sat outside in his car, the harder it would be to sell an excuse later.

“What do you want, Evan?”

“Jared, oh my God, you’re okay. You- I can’t- you can’t leave after saying something like that, alright? I needed to know you were still- okay.”

“Odd. I wouldn’t have thought you cared.” He knew he was pushing it past a point he could call it a joke, but he couldn’t seem to stop.

“Look, Jared, I- I was really mad at you. And looking at it now, I can see why you were upset with me, too. Really, I can’t- I can’t really see why I was mad at you anymore. Well, I can, but it wasn’t you who I should be mad at.”

Jared scoffed and let the phone conversation fall to silence.

“I just uh- want to talk to you- after you said-”

“Relax. I was kidding.”

“Yeah, whatever Jared, we need to talk.”

“Oh? Well then, what is it we’re doing right now?”

“You know what I- where are you?”

“Not about to have this conversation. Sounds like you’re going to take my joke out of context, blow it out of proportion, and get sappy with it.”

“You- Jared, you told me you wished you were a kid who kil- you said we both wished you killed yourself, and then you- you were crying, and you ran off. What am I- What do you think I should make of that?”

Jared breathed into the phone for a moment. He was annoyed Evan would bring the crying up. “Fuck off. And stop calling.”


End file.
